Saturday, January 26, 2008

For those of you who "speak" English...

And yeah, I know everyone isn't an American, or even an English speaker, so don't even start with me on the ethnocentric bullshit. Second Life has really opened the world up for me. *cough* To paraphrase some ignorant Republican president, it's all separate little countries out there! Who knew.

But for those of you who speak English as a first language, there really isn't any excuse for the blatant ignorance and sheer laziness that infects your speech and writing.

I'll break it down for you so you might improve your communication, not only on Second Life, but everywhere -- your home, your job, your life. OMG, you say, what a pile of high-minded horseshit! Yes. Haha.

If you're sticking an apostrophe in a word, please expand the contraction and see if it sounds right.

Example: Put you're clothes back on. I have no interest in SLexing.

If you expanded that contraction, would it make sense? "Put you are clothes back on." No. It doesn't. The word is 'your,' not 'you're.' Likewise, when you say to someone, "Your the hottest av since that centaur I saw at so-and-so's party," the word is 'you're.' It's two words, 'you' and 'are,' cobbled together into one neat little package. Isn't the English language fun?

Loose and lose are not interchangeable. By the same token, neither are led and lead.

Example: Oh! You have a loose tooth! The tooth fairy might visit you tonight!

Listen for that hard s sound. That word has two o's. If you hear a z sound, the word is lose, not loose.

Example: Oh no! Did you lose your virginity AGAIN?

See? The z sound tips you off to use only one o.

Lead is kind of tricky because it can have a long e sound, like when you lead someone around on a leash. Present tense. Or when you lead in a dance. Or you lead a parade. It can also have a short e sound, when talking about the heavy metal that can be found in pipes and paint. Pb on the periodic table, just in case you want to know that.

But if you're talking about the past tense of the verb "lead," then the word is led.

Example: You led me around on a leash last night.


Three separate words, three separate meanings, three distinctly different uses.

'There' refers to a place ("Put the glass over there."); 'their' is possessive ("What is their problem?"); and 'they're' is another one of those pesky contractions you can expand to see if it makes sense ("They're possibly the most ignorant people on the face of the planet.").

Don't use "I" when it's a direct object.

Hmm. A direct object is something being acted upon by a preposition. Prepositions are "of, with, in, to, on..." There are others. If you say, for example, "Come with my sister and I to the store," you may think it makes you sound smart, but you'd be wrong. The word should be 'me,' not 'I.' If you removed your sister from the equation, would it make sense to say the word 'I?' "Come with I to the store.' No. It doesn't make sense. You would say 'my sister and I' if it was the subject of the sentence. For example, "My sister and I will go with you to the store."

Who's vs. Whose

Again, if you can expand the contraction to "Who is," then use "Who's." Otherwise, the word is 'whose,' which is possessive.


Don't even go there.

Oh, you just know there are more... Look for part two coming up sometime soon. And three...and four....and...........


Carter Giacobini said...

PERRY!!!!! Could you put this in a notecard and pass it out on newbie islands everywhere? You did forget to talk about shortening words because people are too lazy to type them out. i.e. "sup", "becuz", "oic" Can that be the topic of your next blog? *MUAH*

Anonymous said...

You should blog more often, "irregardless" of the fact that you may not want to. It's nice to read something by someone who can actually write...AND type.

Rombardo Cuttita said...

I loved this! 'Makes great sense. I'm looking forward for the next lesson! Take care!

vasu said...

gud one,informative fr me!!